Its been a while since I have written. As I am writing, the feeling discontent is trying to settle in but I won't let it. This writing is my release. My release from the world I live in. I remember those days when rapping was my passion, and how I would write till my hand was sore. Though I would smoke weed and drink liquor- altering my state of consciousness -I felt some type of mental stability. Keeping emotions and thoughts bottled up is not safe, and could cause mental instability. The year and a half I worked with the mentally ill taught me that. If we do not express ourselves , continually take in and not let out we would be in trouble. So what are the things that I need to release? These things I share with the world, because I feel we should be transparent.
So...I've been doing some self-searching. I've realized that I have a tremendous amount of ambition and I'm heading in the right direction, but there are some "giants" (I'm using the term "giants" because of a sermon series that my Pastor is preaching this month) in my life that are in my way. I mean I can go around them but think about this. When you stand face to face with someone, you could see what's behind them. If I ignore the fact that these "giants" are there, when I encounter people during my journey they will see them. They will be like tall skyscrapers behind me and very much visible.
So what are these Giants?
First off is the "Debt Giant". Going into college my financial literacy knowledge was none and I didn't know the ramifications of taking out private student loans. Whats happening now is, Chase, AES, Sallie Mae and Nelnet (my subsidized loans) are all contacting me. And guess what? I do not make sufficient enough funds to pay them and take care of my family at the same time. What makes matters worse is that I did not need to take out the private loans because my mother was on disability at the time and I attended college for basically free of charge. Chase won't allow me to forbear my loans but I am in the process of consolidating the others to mitigate the damage to my finances. Word of advice to those entering college, "leave the private loans alone!!! They are a trap!!!". Check out the Foundation Center and other grant providers to see what type of grants they may have available for you. Thank God I am an ambitious young man who doesn't dwell- and with God's guidance -searches and finds solutions to issues that arise. I educate myself daily to keep current in this ever so changing tech industry, so when landing my next job I know it will be lucrative.
The next giant is the "giant of procrastination". This giant I fought before I started writing this piece. Procrastination is to delay or postpone action. I could be a lot further along in life if I didn't postpone action. I probably wouldn't have this financial burden on my shoulders if I didn't procrastinate. Daily I am fighting this giant, and daily that giant is falling. I want to give you a poem that my friend Cyrus Charles Weaver put together that helps me deal with procrastination.
Just Do It
Its easy to procrastinate...
All you have to do is sit there and do nothing...
Or just do everything else but what you're supposed to be doing...
Instead of trying to gather up the motivation to do the things you know you want to do...
Just get up and do them...
So often, the hardest part of doing something is getting started...
So instead of thinking about getting started..
JUST GET STARTED!!!
Well that's it for now. I do have a few more giants to slay, and will post as soon as I start dealing with them. I am not procrastinating, just handling one thing at a time (another giant I'm facing).
Till the next time, Grace and Peace
